Is it possible to stay forever young? Is the idea of youthfulness just a mere marketed allusion that’s simply unattainable? I’m here to tell you first-hand, that I do believe it’s absolutely possible and it really comes down to the idea of mind over matter. But what does the idea of ‘staying young’ mean to you? To me, it’s about looking and feeling my best, while being at the ultimate level of mental and physical health. Age is truly not a number, but rather a mindset that takes practice and exercise, just like any other goal to strive for.

I lost this youthful feeling ten plus years ago when I was in my 30’s; I was in a tough marriage, an intense job, while parenting two young children. I was entrenched in the difficulty of day-to-day life, and the idea of youthfulness was not a characteristic I would have used to described myself. I was then diagnosed with thyroid cancer and decided it was time for it all to change. This is when I started my journey to seek out happiness, which I believe is one of the most important pillars for attaining youthfulness.

First, step outside of yourself and decide what contributes to your own happiness and unhappiness. While it sounds elemental in nature, It really is a simple exercise which acts as a guiding light for what to focus on— and what to avoid. Life is short, discard and improve upon those unhappy components and really lean into the good stuff. After much reflection, for me, an unhappy marriage, intense career, unstable work-life balance, and health concerns were the negative catalysts that were pushing me away from the sense of youth. These took time to fix, but it wasn’t an insurmountable hill that couldn’t be climbed. When you invest your time and energy in the things that are truly important, the outcome can be a very positive one.

Now ten years later, at 48 years old, I look and feel better than ever, with a radiance from inside out. It is not just me noticing, either; I often get asked what I’m ‘doing’ to stay young and how I’m achieving a level of happiness that seems to be part and parcel with an age far younger than my actual birthdate. I also had a baby naturally, against all odds (1 in 2 million, to be exact), at 47 years old. Seems like I also fooled my body into thinking I was young, too. So how did I get here, from the slums of 30 to fantastic 40’s?

Here are the steps to staying young, inside and out…for a lifetime:

Feel good. Genuinely good. This all starts from the inside.

Physical Health. It’s not all glamorous. Annual physicals are a must. I enlist the help of a concierge service with MDVIP. I found early stage thyroid cancer likely ten years before I would have even had a symptom. Go to the dentist (this also helps detects heart health). Eye doctor…yup! This prevents any eye issue in advance. Skin checks twice a year. I also see a cardiologist due to being a past marathon runner who continues to analyze my health and gives me the green light to continue doing hardcore cardio workouts. Get a colonoscopy starting at 40 and yearly annual mammograms. Invest in your health, without it, we have nothing. I also greatly recommend Naturopathic medicine. My physician is Dr. Lisa Brent in Marin. She made me realize perimenopause and menopause are not death sentences and can be tackled gracefully, despite what women are lead into believing. Dr. Brent teaches you how to age gracefully using your initial bloodwork to set as your baseline. On my most recent visit, she added magnesium nitrate to my regiment and it made a huge difference with my quality of sleep and PMS/kindness towards my husband.

Get acupuncture! Do this weekly if you can. I see Kenji from family marin acupuncture who is a sports acupuncturist. He has kept me injury-free on the tennis courts for many, many years. If I feel anything creeping up, we put an end to that together.

Mental Health. Have a therapist or coach, medium and/or clairvoyant. I have them all and use them at times when I need them most.

Exercise. Do something active for your body everyday. For me, this is mostly competitive tennis, but I have a fabulous pilates instructor, yoga instructor, and core circuit team that are a constant part of my workout repertoire. Megan, from Love Story and Pilates Pro Works, does at-home pilates training. Susan Hauser, from Now Power Yoga and Studio 30 in Tam Valley, does amazing circuit training. Weights are a critical component to workouts starting at age 40 to maintain body strength and bone density. When I can, I go on a double stroller run or I sneak into my garage for some stationary biking. If all else fails and I miss my class or get a late start, I’ll just sneak in a hike for a 45-min cardio workout. The more you move, the more your body functions, and the more you optimally function, the stronger you are— mentally and physically.

Have Your Tribe! Make sure you have a group of people that surround you with support and positivity. I have my group of girls that I meet with weekly for at- home workouts with Megan and we talk about everything during this hour-long time together— including being moms, partners, and daughters. Go on a trip with your ladies and you will quickly be reunited with a more youthful mindset; as there’s nothing that brings you back quite like great laughs with girlfriends! You get back what you put in, especially in friendships, so be a good friend. We are all busy, but I am never too busy for my girlfriends and they know they can always count on me for the fun and hard times.

Looking young isn’t all from the inside out, but it certainly originates there!

Go get a blow out and a cute pair of shoes. Good hair and a fun pair of shoes goes a very long way! Take prenatal vitamins for your hair health: trust me, you will thank me for this one.

Have a great dermatologist that can help you with facials, lasers, botox and eventually fillers. Kathleen Welsh is truly one in a million.

That’s almost it, but I have saved the most important component for last… the importance of family. Have a really solid partnership, where you can truly be your truly authentic, happy self. I believe none of the above matters if this crucial piece of the puzzle is missing. Be honest with yourself on this one, and put in the most time here to get the improvements and outcomes you need. For us, it is having deep talks in the bedroom. It’s our happy place and where we share our most intimate secrets together. Your children can add a lot to your health and youth to your life as well, so have fun with them. Say yes when you can, includes the inclusion of having ‘yes’ days, when possible. Recognize the need for intervention—there are experts for everything and we simply can’t do it all alone.

Now go be young forever. Live everyday like it’s a vacation. Lean into the hard moments and know that tomorrow is a new day. Be silly. Get help when it’s needed. Dance and live large!